“It’s all fun and games until someone shits themselves and has to walk home naked.”

I’m getting pretty good at handling large numbers of Swazi children by myself now; on Monday I had 53 to myself again! We also had a little accident at Injabulo; one of the little boys was crying but we couldn’t understand why... Then just as we were tiding up after teaching Nelsiwe comes over and tells us that he’s upset because he’s wet himself, great. So we give her some water so she can splash him down... Then Nelsiwe asks us for some soap and a cloth because ‘it’s all down the back of his legs’, this doesn’t fit in with the wetting himself story.
Turns out that there was a slight miscommunication and this poor boy had actually pooed himself! We went outside to find him stood in a bowl of water, completely starkers, embarrassed and still crying. Nelsiwe gave him a good wipe down and then we sent him on his way; for some reason he chose not to put back on his top which was un-soiled and went home wearing nothing but his birthday suit! Shame.  

It’s now about 7 weeks in and we’ve only just discovered that the radio in our truck actually works! We’ve found a half decent East Coast South African station that has some really weird adverts, but they play decent English and American music. So we’re having great fun cruising along in the African sun with our windows down, belting it out to some songs!

We also took Tracey and Agnes (teachers from Moriah Centre) along with us to soup kitchen; we had a lovely time with the kids all in a big circle chanting ‘DANCE BABY DANCE, DANCE BABY DANCE’ to which they all took turns going into the middle of the circle and they danced their little hearts out. We also played this game where they all ran around screaming ‘there’s a fire on the mountain, run run run’ which ended with about 30 kids throwing themselves on top of Ashley and myself in a massive pile on... I still don’t understand the aim of the game, all I know is that when it was finished I was covered in dirt, children and aching everywhere!

There’s also been another one of Swaziland’s frequent and impressive thunderstorms, only this time with the side effect that I can now access the school wifi on my laptop! I then had a skype session with Lucy, and spent the first 10 minutes looking really confused that I even had access to the internet.
The second side effect of the thunderstorm is that when we came to drive to Injabulo on Wednesday the bridge that we cross the river on was completely non-existent. Ayanda was with us in the back of the truck and she hates crossing the river at the best of times, so she was freaking out and shouting that if we tried to cross it she’s strangle Ashley with her bare hands (who was driving) and get out to walk home! Hahaa, we literally couldn’t see the bridge, so crossing wasn’t an option... We had to go back into Big Bend and go the long way around.

Normally a bridge here, oh maaaaan.

This weekend is mid-term for Sisekelo, so everyone in hostel goes home for a long weekend, apart from Ashley and I. Hostel is so creepy when there’s no one around! We felt a bit lonely without the girls there; but Selma had asked us to dog sit for her, so we got to sleep at her house and cook for ourselves which was pretty cool, however it made us realise that if we had to fend for ourselves all the time we probably would struggle! There was also one day where we had cooked our lunch and sat down outside in the sunshine to eat it before realising that the dogs were nowhere to be seen. S**t. We’d lost them.
We looked all over the grounds before asking a security guard if he’d seen anyone drive down; turns out that Selma’s sister had come along in her car and taken them for a walk or something, we were so worried that we were responsible for 3 lost dogs. We also found out that while we’d been looking after them they’d viciously murdered a cat one night when we’d been out, but we hadn’t realised. Worst dog sitters ever.

Kathy and Richard took us to Hlane on Saturday! Hlane is a Nature Reserve up country, and it was so muddy we were skidding everywhere; sometimes we were horizontal to the tracks we were travelling on... If it hadn’t been for Richards impeccable rally driving skills I could’ve easily seen myself up to my ankles in mud pushing a truck for the second time in as many weeks. We saw rhino’s, crocodiles, hippo’s, giraffe, impala (impala are everywhere, I’m sick of the sight of them!) and dung beetles, which are the most hilarious beetle I think I’ve ever seen in my life. They push along balls of dung 3 times the size of them like children rolling up snow at winter to make a snowman. They choose to roll their dung balls right along the middle of the tracks, so Richard was playing a dodging game to try and avoid flattening them to the floor. 

Dung Beetle!

The Queen Mother was also meant to be having lunch at Hlane, so there were large numbers of security men walking around admiring the hippos and waving around massive guns. We also had an argument with a group of men in Swazi cultural dress over whether or not the crocodile next to the watering hole was in fact a crocodile or a large lizard. It was a crocodile, it was obvious and there’s no doubt that fact; but they seemed to think that it was only a lizard. I really worry about these Africans sometimes, no wonder loads of them get eaten by crocodiles, they’re walking around thinking that they’re harmless lizards!

Sunday was a calmer day; we spent the morning baking a birthday cake for Mary at Moriah Centres birthday, only to discover that after our first attempt we are rubbish bakers. It probably didn’t help that I’d accidently used a ‘Microwavable Recipes’ book without realising, and that the gas oven we were using seemed only to have two heat settings, on and off. The first cake I made was so hard I actually took it outside and snapped it over my leg into little rock sized pieces all over the grass!
Attempts 3 and 4 were much more successful and we managed to make a pretty decent cake after about 4 hours in the kitchen. The only downfall was that it was so hot outside the icing ran everywhere and the ‘Happy Birthday’ that Ashley had piped on top was illegible by the time we actually got to Mary’s house. It tasted good though! 

We decided that we couldn’t face another night cooking for ourselves, so we walked to the club for dinner. The country club is a really nice place, but compared to the westernised prices we’re familiar with it is still dirt cheap! You can get a steak dish for £4, and I’m pretty sure the most expensive meal on the menu was no more than £6. It was a good night, however at about 9:40 we were rudely told by the bar man “let’s go now”, because they apparently close at 9 (oops), but no one told us! It was pretty hilarious though, and we couldn’t believe that those were the words that actually came out of his mouth... He obviously had only basic English, but even so, “let’s go now”... c’mon man, throw us a ‘please’ in there.

Time is going so fast, I can’t believe we’re 7 weeks in already!

Loving life in Swaziland 2K12 ;)

Kate xx