Aunty Rose

Aunty Rose is one of the cooks in the kitchen at hostel, she is so amazing that I have to do a post about her! She's absolutely stark raving crazy and has the most insane laugh I've ever heard in my life, I'll have to get it on video at some point, it doesn't even sound like it comes from a human.

• She has twin daughters; their English names are Debbie and Debra. Aunty Rose doesn't understand that Debbie is basically a nickname for someone called Deborah, and both her daughters technically have the same name. We can't make her see sense!
• Aunty Rose completely lied to us and misled us about her 'son'. Here we were thinking that she had a 5 year old son, only to be told by the other Aunties that she doesn't. Who was this kid we were introduced to calling her Mum? Turns out that it's her Grandson, but because she brought him up he sees her as a mother figure, Aunty Rose - why you so confusing!
• She calls both me and Ashley 'baby', which I love! Well, she calls lots of people baby, but still <3
• She doesn't just call me 'Kate', it usually comes out as 'Katie-Katie-Kate', with baby thrown on the end! She is so cute. 
• When we cook for soup kitchen we sing with Aunty Rose, her favourite song is Adele's Someone Like You so we absolutely belt it out while we're sweating like fat kids in a disco cooking our massive pot of soup. She always shouts at us at the end to stop though, because we'll make her cry (she sings it with her daughters as well), but then she sets us off on round 2, and we sing again!
• She has a small dog at home, which she named 'Teddy-bear', she sleeps with it as well. This is just Aunty Rose all over, she's beautifully mental.  
• Aunty Rose (and most Swazi's) aren't too familiar with the concept of Halloween; most are up-front with their lack of understanding, but Aunty Rose was adamant that she knew what it was - a play that children perform and the adults all watch. I really don't think she does understand as her idea of Halloween sounds like a Christmas Nativity! 

Aunty Rose 2013!

•  Before we left for our travelling Aunty Rose was off sick from work for a few days; we found out that the reason she was off was because she ate red meat even though she was allergic! She was at Kathy (our hosts) leaving dinner and everyone had red meat, she was jealous because it looked so good and she ate some! Silly woman.
• Debbie and Debra her twin daughters were telling us that at New Years she went to some car races and kept phoning them only to scream loudly and say no words. Apparently she couldn’t talk for two days afterwards.
• Aunty Rose keeps telling us how we can turn morvite (porridge) into Umcombotsi a Swazi beer. She walks around the kitchen brandishing a cup or porridge singing ‘Umcombotsi umcombotsi the swazzziii beeeeeer!’
•  Aunty Rose has a new granddaughter! She was telling us how Sego (her grandson) reacted; “Sego’s crazzzzy! No one can touch my babay, s’my baby! Bought it from the shop. It’s expensive!” “How much Sego?” “Heeeeey I don’t know!” They are a pretty hilarious family.
•  Aunty Rose was talking to us about Swazi beer (again) and then suddenly started saying “backwards, forwards, backwards, forwards... ahhh the banana’s sticking!” Yes, this is an euphemism/innuendo.
• We walk into the kitchen one day to find all of the Aunties absolutely killing themselves laughing, so Aunty Rose shows us what all the fuss is about... On her phone she shows us a naked picture of herself sleeping! It was taken by her daughters and bluetoothed to her phone; “Ey I was so tired, was lying there like I was drunk! I had the baby here (imitates tucked under her armpit), I nearly killed the baby!” 
• Since seeing Aunty Rose naked in the shower at leadership camp all those months ago there was one thing that I didn’t see...  Unfortunately I have now been presented with it (the photo was taken pretty much between her legs), and there’s not one inch of Aunty Rose that is a mystery to me. She’s not even embarrassed, she’s shown basically all the staff the picture!
•  Ashley and Aunty Rose:
  “Hey Aunty Rose, do you want to learn some Chinese?” “No I don’t want to karate.”“I mean the language...”“All Chinese is karate!” 
• Ashley was chatting to Aunty Rose about when she went to the casino in Durban with her Mum and Paul... "Yeah the chips are only R10!" (10 rand is the equivalent of 70p), Aunty Rose was then appalled at this because she thought that Ashley was talking about chips/crisps that are sold for R1 (7p) in Swaziland, rather than gambling chips. "Ey this thing! Too expensive!" Hahahaaaa bless her.